Back in School Battle of the Sexes
Come up with team names/Chant! – Fill out the team questionnaire
Make a 30 min “Jack & Diane” Play list – (about 1.15 each)
Girl Songs
Teenage Dream, Shut up and Dance, Fight Song, California Gurls, Single Ladies, Every time We Touch, Love Story, Wannabe, It’s Raining Men, Pretty Girl Rock, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Call Me Maybe, Girl all the Bad guys want

Guy Songs
Sexy and I Know it, Pretty Boy swag, Sk8er Boy, The Boys are back in town, Bad to the Bone, Moves Like Jagger, Honey I’m good, Eye of the Tiger, What A Man, Sharp Dressed Man, She Thinks My Tracker’s Sexy, Guys Like Me, Sexy Back

Before gathering in the Youth Center, have each group share their gender’s chant.

Rules & Expectations
• Your cell phone is only good as a paper weight for this lock-in. If you can’t limit its usage turn it in. You don’t have any other friends beside the ones here tonight and your parents are glad to get rid of you. They aren’t calling. Oh yea, don’t use your phone for a light.
• No swearing/profanity – Believe it or not this category includes inappropriate “chocolaty” discussions.
• No “extra curricular” activities permitted. For example, no sucking face with anyone.
• No roughhousing. Yes, this includes keeping someone else’s property from them by force, sneaky-ness or running away from them.
• Do not leave the Church. If the area you are in is not climate controlled you are outside the church.
• No cheating. If you are looking for a way around a rule, you are probably about to cheat and had best not attempt any deviations until you reach saint hood.
• Snacks and drinks are allowed in the Youth Center only. If you “forgot” and accidentally took food or drink with you, try harder. If you just don’t understand, it’s the stuff you put in your mouth when you’re hungry or thirsty.
• Do not open or go around locked doors. If you find yourself climbing through a wall, window, non-door opening or have to do anything to a door that is more than just gently opening it by the knob, you are probably attempting to go around or open a locked door.
• Stay out of the rafters, organ loft. If you have to climb to get where you want to go and then you feel yourself having to balance on a beam high above the floor, chances are you are in the rafters.
• Sleep only in designated sleeping rooms. No hiding, food or drink in designated sleeping rooms.
• Go only where you are asked. No sneaking off to do your own thing. If we are playing a game and you’re just sitting and watching/talking alone with a friend or friends, it better be in the Youth Center.
• Respect the church property. Do not touch the Drums, Piano, any musical instrument, spot light, or electronic equipment in the building. If it looks like it might be fun to play with and you are not in the Youth Center or Gym don’t mess with it.
• Do not start fires, dangle, hang or jump off of anything. Why do I even have to say this… Oh yea! Because someone will do it if I don’t.

Expectations are as follows:
• Participate as you can
• Respect others and Listen
• Clean up after yourself
• The leader may randomly unlock a door from time to time.

Team Competition I
Intelligence, Intuition, Hand/Eye Coordination
4 on a couch
Scoring: The winning team receives 10 points
Where: Youth Center
Needed: Enough slips of paper for everyone

Say: Tonight is all about competition. It’s Female vs. Male! We’re going to start out with an intellectual challenge! We need one empty seat in the room and then your gender will try to get four of your teammates on a couch!

To start, this couch (Designate a couch), needs be arranged boy, girl, boy, girl.
We’ll hand out pieces of paper and pens (one per person). Everyone needs to legibly write their names on their piece of paper and turn it back in to us.

Next, we’ll give everyone a random piece of paper maybe with someone else’s name on it. Each person should read their own piece of paper without letting anyone else know what his or her paper says.

As we begin, the person on the right of empty spot calls someone’s name. The person whose piece of paper has the called name moves to the empty spot. Whoever is sitting on the right of the new empty spot calls out another name. The first team to have four of their members on the couch wins the match. We’ll plat “best two out of three”.

If there’s a third match, add switching papers with the person on the right after each move.

Blind Recognition
Scoring: Score one point for each correct guess
Where: Youth Center
Needed: Blindfolds/masks
Say: This is a game of intuition. The two teams will huddle together opposite each other. The girls will each (one at a time) take a turn to be blindfolded for the first round. They must name whoever is sent to them by using any sense other than sight. The boys may choose any player on their team to go forward and be identified. It could be the same person many times or different each time. They can choose to talk and disguise their voice or remain silent. A sponsor will be right at hand to prevent any inappropriate touching. We’ll keep score of the correct answers. After all the girls have gone through it will be the boys turn. The team with the most correct answers wins!

Scoring: Score 10 points for each putt made
Where: Gym
Needed: Golf Putter, a cup, flute darts
Set up: Set up in the center of the room a 10 foot long putting practice green. Use tables flat on the floor to maintain boundaries 30 feet from the green on each side (60 ft total separation).

Say: This is a hand eye coordination game. There will be two putters from each team. Putters will get 3 chances to make a 10 foot putt. We’ll be alternating putts boy/girl. Each team will line up 30 feet away from the green on opposite sides. If a putter makes the putt the opposite sex turns their backs and gives the scoring team a free shot at them with the flute darts. The catch, teams can use flute darts to distract the putter or deflect the ball from the cup or just fire at the opposite sex to distract their deflection. The putters themselves are off limits. No HEAD shots please. You may not use your flute dart unless you are behind the “firing Line”. After 3 tries each, 3 additional putters will be chosen from each team.

Learn to Work the Toilet Seat

Say: The battle of the sexes rages on, but need this be the case for Christians? Maybe so, but tonight we are going to attempt to bridge the gap helping you better relate to each other. As teenagers progress through the adolescent years, they learn to develop mature relationships with the opposite sex. To illustrate the differences in thinking among girls and guys, we’re going to do an experiment “Family Feud” style. I’ll have one of you leave the room and ask a set of questions to be answered as quickly as possible, then allow the other back to answer the same questions as quickly as possible. I’d like two volunteers—a guy and a girl.

Get a “scribe” to quickly write down answers – Let the girl (or guy) leave the room, and read the following situations to the guy in front of the group. Let the group note how the guy answered or reacted to the situation. Now let the girl in and read her the same situation. How did she react? Ask the group to point out the differences they noticed between how each answered. What does this say about girl versus guy communication?

1. How do you leave the toilet seat, usually up, down or closed?

2. You’ve just got cut from the swim (or whatever) team and your best friends made it. In a short description, how do you react?

3. You’ve just gotten a low (almost failing) grade on the hardest exam you’ve ever taken. In a short description, how are you feeling?

4. You just found out that there is a girl (or guy) that likes you. What will you do about it?

5. Your sister or brother hits you hard—and I mean hard. What are you going to do?

6. A kid at your school calls you a name. What are you going to do about it?
Break into small middle school/High school guy/girl groups and hand out leader sheets.

When can you first remember wondering about the differences between the opposite sex?
__ Before elementary school (Pre-K to kindergarten)
__ Early elementary school (grades 1 to 4)
__ Later elementary school (grades 5 to 6)
__ Junior high
__ High school

What one word do you think best describes the opposite sex? List at least 4 clean words.
_____________________________ _______________________________
_____________________________ _______________________________

Below are a few statements about girls and guys in relationships. Put a F by the ones you feel apply more to girls/females and an M by those that apply more to guys/males.
__ Cheating in a relationship
__ Pressuring to get more physical
__ Preferring to spend time with friends
__ Being possessive
__ Having higher standards
__ Being sensitive
__ Being competitive
__ Being jealous
__ Being domineering
__ Wanting to get serious
__ Being committed to God
__ Leading the other person on
__ Being romantic
__ Being demanding
__ Being argumentative
Decide how many are cultural and how many are God-given.

What do you think?
Can girls and guys be friends without getting romantically involved with each other?
__ Nope—it’s too hard
__ Could happen, but it’s not likely
__ Probably could happen, depending on both people
__ Definitely—sometimes those are the best friendships to have
Discuss what kinds of friendships Christian young men and women can have and how these can be developed.

If you could ask all members of the opposite sex a question that has always puzzled you, what would it be? List 3 clean questions.
1. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________

2. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________

3. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Write a brief description of what each of the following verses has to say about relating to the opposite sex?
Ephesians 4:2 with all lowliness and meekness, with patience, forbearing one another in love,

Ephesians 4:32 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.




Ephesians 4:29 Let no evil talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for edifying, as fits the occasion, that it may impart grace to those who hear.

Come back together as a large group and share all he answers. What different interpretations did the males and females have?

Say: There will always be many questions and concerns about the opposite sex, we discussed quite a few here tonight. There are both differences and similarities between the sexes and some of you will find it challenging to have “friendship” relationships with the opposite sex that won’t end up romantically based.

Some parting questions for you to ponder:
What does the media say about girl and guy relationships? How often do friends in movies or TV shows end up in dating relationships? Can this transition ruin friendships? Your challenge tonight is to grow in understanding of each other and find the gifts that each person brings to the table.

Dear Lord, Leader of all, be with each of us tonight. Grant us Your peace, harmony, and wisdom to end all of our conflicts and divisions. Gift us with compassion to better understand our peers and to love and assist each other, as we grow in trust and patience to live peacefully together. Grant that we become more open-minded, working together in unity, selflessly dedicated to one other and to You. Amen.

Team Competition II
Underground Church for Battle of the Sexes
Scoring: Score 10 points for each round your team wins
Players: Guy and Girl Underground Churches, Followers, and Guy and Girl Guards.
Needed: Pool Noodles for the guards

The “Church” (a group of two) for each gender is given a set amount of time to go and hide and remain in one place for the duration of the round. The Guards will become the Churches for the next round. (Send the churches one at a time to avoid giving away where the other team is hiding.)

The “Guards” try to keep the opposite gender’s Followers from finding their genders Church. The Guards job is to tag Followers of the opposite sex & walk them back to “jail”. The jail keeps only 6 prisoners at a time, when the 7th is caught, #1 leaves. If a Guard finds a Church of the opposite sex, that church automatically wins for their gender and the round is over. So, a Guard’s best bet is to just roam the halls catching opposite sex Followers and not look for Churches.

The “Followers” try to find the opposite sexes Underground Church without being tagged by the Guards of the opposite sex or giving away where their Church is. If a Follower finds an Underground Church of the opposite sex that Churches gender looses and the round is over. No hiding with your Church for this game and followers may not barricade, block or detain the opposite sex at any time.
Free Time
Gym, Youth Center Only
Play pop music Guy/Gurl mix for this!
Num, Num! – Life Tree Cafe
Girls vs. Guys, who’s group can make the best looking pizzas. Everyone must make at least one. Have separate but equal prep stations. Cook at 425. Sponsors are judges

Team Competition III
Tolerance, Teamwork, Love
Beauty Both Ways
Scoring: Loose 10 points for each instance of non-complacency
Needed: 2 shaving cream cans, 20 spoons, 20 bowls, 2 – 20 packs of washable markers

Say: This is a test of tolerance. We’ll start with the girls sitting. The girls get to choose a boy to be their partner. The boys “shave” the girl’s face with shaving cream and a spoon in less than 1 minute or the girls get to apply any remaining shaving cream to the boys face. The girls all get the shaving cream in one hand and at go apply it to their cheeks, chin and upper lip. Only after all the girls are lathered up will the boys 1 minute start.

Next the boys sit down. The girls get 1 minute to apply “maker make-up” to the boys face using only real make up styles, colors may be non-traditional (No words, pet whiskers or just scribbling, etc…) The boys may remain made up for the rest of the night if they choose but everyone will have a chance to wash off. Remember this is a “loose points” competition. If you protest, your team loses points.

I Got Chew Babe
Scoring: 40 points to the team with the fastest time
Needed: lots of Swedish Fish like candies, plastic spoons, one bowl
Set up: Set up a line of chairs, one for each two person team and only one gender at a time.

Say: This is a test of teamwork. Genders will take turns and make same sex two-person teams. One person per team sits in a chair. The other person stands behind the chair. The person sitting places his or her hands on their hips. The person standing threads their arms under the seated person’s armpits. We will place a bowl of Swedish Fish in one hand of the standing person on the first team and a new spoon in the other hand of all the other standing players. They will feed their partner at least one Swedish Fish with their own spoon then pass the bowl on to the next team. The gender team with the fastest time wins.

Honey if You Love Me
Scoring: 40 points to the last gender remaining
Say: This is a love game and it’s modified from a game many of you have played before. Every one sits in a circle with the same number of boys as girls. One boy and one girl stand in the center of the circle. They go to a member of the opposite sex and say, “Honey, if you love me please, please smile.” The person they asked must respond, “Honey, I love you but I just can’t smile”. If they don’t smile the asker can only try 2 more times before moving on. If he or she smiles they become an asker. Once an asker is successful in making someone smile, he or she must pick a seated teammate to trade him or her places. There is no limit to how many times a player can be an asker, only not consecutively. The team with surviving players is the winner.

Free Time
Gym, Youth or Activity Center Only
Play pop music Guy/Gurl mix for this!

Team Competition IV
Flexibility, Balance, Size
Scoring: 20 points for each successful circle
Say: This is a game of flexibility. Equal teams of boys and girls will gather near each other. The groups are going to get “all tied up” and try to get untied. Both teams will stand in a huddle close to each other and place their hands in the center of the group grabbing the hand of someone across the circle. Make sure you don’t grab both hands of the same person. Without letting go of each other’s hands try to untie the mess you created. Teams are not allowed to let go of each other. When each gender gets all untied they must be in one large circle to be eligible to score points. Two or more circles in one gender scores nothing. The first team untied and in one circle wins the points.

Scoring: First team done receives 40 points
Needed: lots of cotton balls, lots of plastic spoons
Set up: Place cotton balls in a line on a table opposite relay teams. Give each player a plastic spoon to hold in his or her mouth.

Say: This is a relay race about balance. Each team member will place a spoon in his or her mouth, run down, scoop up a cotton ball and bring it back to a team container with no hands the fastest. If the cotton ball falls on the floor a teammate may race out to help with the side of his or her foot used as a stop. The cotton ball may not be advanced on the floor.

Below Freezing
Scoring: 20 points for each round
Say: This is a game of size. One (or two) girl(s) and one (or two) guy(s) will be chosen to be it. Whenever an “it” tags a player of the opposite sex, that player must remain frozen in place, with their feet wide apart. The frozen player can only be “unfrozen” if another player of their sex crawls between his or her legs! It’s may not unfreeze, protect or block for their players. The last team with unfrozen players wins.
Movie Time
A Walk to Remember

Go Home


Supplies List:
Print Battle of the Sexes Questions For Girls & Guys
Print Score Sheet
Print Leader Sheet
Print Sign in Sheet
Print movie info sheet
Have a way to play the “Jack & Dian” play list
Enough 2’x2″ slips of paper for everyone
Golf putter & target/hole
Flute darts
Nerf darts
4 Pool Noodles
MEAL –Pizza Making Competition
Pizza bread Pizza Sauce
Pepperonis Motz cheeze
Chopped Green Peppers Chopped Onions
Chopped precooked Bacon Crumbled Sausage
Spinach Leaves Parmesan Cheese
2 cans shaving cream
Tones of plastic spoons
20 Styrofoam bowls
2-20 packs of washable markers
Lots of Swedish fish or gummy bears
Cotton balls
MOVIE – A Walk to Remember


4 on a Couch
Scoring: The first team to get 4 on a couch receives 10 points. Best 2 out of 3 (Winner could receive 20 points max)

Blind Recognition
Scoring: Score one point for each correct guess

Scoring: Score 10 points for each made put

Underground Church for Battle of the Sexes
Scoring: Score 10 points for each round your team wins

Nom Noms
Scoring: Pest looking pizzas win 20 points!

Beauty Both Ways
Scoring: Loose 10 points for each instance of non-complacency

I Got Chew
Scoring: 40 points to the team with the fastest time

Honey if You Love Me
Scoring: 40 points to the last gender remaining

All Tied Up
Scoring: 20 points for each successful circle

Scoring: First team done receives 40 points

Below Freezing
Scoring: 20 points for each round


Battle of the Sexes: Questions (For Girls Team)

1. Are you/would you be just friends with a guy?

a) Yes.
b) No.

2. What are the three top qualities (best quality = 1) you look for in a relationship?

1) __________________________________________________________________
2) __________________________________________________________________
3) __________________________________________________________________

3. What are the three worst qualities (worst quality = 1) that if a guy had, you’d never go out with him?

1) __________________________________________________________________
2) __________________________________________________________________
3) __________________________________________________________________

4. About what percent would you say your attraction to a guy based on physical appearance alone is?

a) 80-90%
b) 60-70%
c) 55% or less

5. What percent would you say reflects how attracted you are to a guy based on non-physical aspects? (Doesn’t have to add up with the first question.)

a) 80-90%
b) 60-70%
c) 55% or less

6. Are you more often attracted to a guy who is older than you?

a) Yes.
b) No.

7. Would you date a guy who was shorter than you?

a) Yes.
b) No.

8. If you think a guy is smarter than you, would you be intimidated (to start a deeper relationship or to dance)?

a) Yes.
b) No.

9. If you like a guy, would you make the first move? (Ask him to dance, ask him out and/or shamelessly flirt?)

a) Yes.
b) No.

10. If a guy you liked flirted with you and then later flirted with other girls, what would be the first thought to pop into your mind?

a) Was it something I did? / He was way out of my league, anyway.
b) *%$#@!! / I was too good for him anyway!
c) I’ve got to try to win him back! / He’s mine!

11. Do you try to make a guy more interested in you by flirting with other guys or seeming “unavailable?”

a) Yes.
b) No.

12. Describe guys in general (at your age) in three words: (Using adjectives.)

1) __________________________________________________________________
2) __________________________________________________________________
3) __________________________________________________________________

13. You think the most important thing guys care about in a girl is:

a) Looks, guys are shallow.
b) Personality, mostly.
c) An equal combination of both.